Why put a message in a bottle? If you're on a deserted island, you're already set.

The sunset will always be better than anything on TV. (Yes, even J.J. Abrams' shows.)

#1 guide to quality of life-pairs of sunglasses owned. Under 1/2-dozen? Hit the mall, then a beach.

Best thing about grass skirts? Picnicking without fear of grass stains.

It's impossible to wake up on the wrong side of the bed in a hammock.

Hammocks are terrible for working in. Which is why they're perfect.

If a wave crashes and nobody is around to hear it except for you, you picked the right beach.

Coconuts are nature's combo meal-food, a drink and (if you bowl with it first) a toy.

Dueling Banjos is great, but Dueling Ukuleles wouldn't work. Ukuleles won't duel. They're pacifists.

Any horizontal barrier is a limbo tournament waiting to happen.

Tip: Jellyfish are NOT good with Peanut Butter. (You don't try that more than once.)

Sunblock smells like the beach. Perfume smells like a department store. Advantage, sunblock!

The three "R's" have nothing on the three "S's:" Sand, Sun and Smoothies!

No party is too fancy for tiki torches.

Airbrushed t-shirts aren't a fashion statement, they're a way of life.

If palm trees can't live there, neither should you. That's the only real estate advice you'll ever need.

SPF stands for Smoothie Prediction Factor. 15 should be your minimum in summer months.

If it can't be played on a ukulele, it shouldn't be played at all.

Next time at airport security, start a conga line. If your shoes are off, you may as well enjoy it.