Best thing about grass skirts? Picnicking without fear of grass stains.

No party is too fancy for tiki torches.

Tip: Jellyfish are NOT good with Peanut Butter. (You don't try that more than once.)

Dueling Banjos is great, but Dueling Ukuleles wouldn't work. Ukuleles won't duel. They're pacifists.

Any horizontal barrier is a limbo tournament waiting to happen.

Coconuts are nature's combo meal-food, a drink and (if you bowl with it first) a toy.

It's impossible to wake up on the wrong side of the bed in a hammock.

Next time at airport security, start a conga line. If your shoes are off, you may as well enjoy it.

The sunset will always be better than anything on TV. (Yes, even J.J. Abrams' shows.)

SPF stands for Smoothie Prediction Factor. 15 should be your minimum in summer months.

If a wave crashes and nobody is around to hear it except for you, you picked the right beach.

If it can't be played on a ukulele, it shouldn't be played at all.

Airbrushed t-shirts aren't a fashion statement, they're a way of life.

Sunblock smells like the beach. Perfume smells like a department store. Advantage, sunblock!

Why put a message in a bottle? If you're on a deserted island, you're already set.

The three "R's" have nothing on the three "S's:" Sand, Sun and Smoothies!

If palm trees can't live there, neither should you. That's the only real estate advice you'll ever need.

#1 guide to quality of life-pairs of sunglasses owned. Under 1/2-dozen? Hit the mall, then a beach.

Hammocks are terrible for working in. Which is why they're perfect.